Big Ears and Pipsqueak (And Rose, too)
by lexieconextreme
Summary: Now, there was nothing special about this big, blue box. But it tugged on his mind, demanding he look back at it. So Ed turned back, walking to stand in front of the tall phone box. At the top, glowing words read "Police Public Call Box", and a sign on the door telling the user what it was for and how to use it. Ed snorted. He almost wanted to push it open.


**A/N: HELLO! First FMA/Doctor Who crossover! Let's see how I do...**

 **Uhhh, the characters may be a little OC, but I've never written for Rose or Nine before, soooo.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, Doctor Who, or any of the characters within.**

* * *

Edward Elric was walking along the streets of Berlin, thinking of Amestris. He had been doing that a lot recently. And who could blame him? It was nearing Alfons Heidrich's birthday. But because Alfons Heidrich seemed to be the doppelganger of Ed's own brother, Alphonse Elric, this also meant it was nearing Al's birthday as well. Assuming al's body had been restored like Ed hoped, Al would be approaching his sixteenth birthday. Sixteenth birthday, and Ed wouldn't be there to celebrate it with him. That was also assuming that Al's body had aged while in the Gate. If it hadn't, the three years had spent traveling around Amestris with his younger brother would not show. Al's body would still have been ten years old when pulled out of the Gate. In which case, he'd be turning eleven soon. And Edward still wasn't with him.

This bothered him to no end. It wasn't just not being able to celebrate a birthday. No, it was not being with his brother in general that bothered Ed. Not knowing whether his sacrifice had actually brought Al's body back, or just placed his soul right back in that damned suit of armor again.

Thinking of his brother, however, dredged up other memories. Winry, Aunt Pinako, Risembool. Central City, East City, Liore and Rose Thomas, Xenotime and the Tringham Brothers. Lieutenant Hawkeye and even Colonel Bastard. That last one was a bit confusing. As much as Ed liked to think that the man had been the biggest jerk on the face of the planet, Ed didn't really hate him. After all, Mustang _had_ done the best he could with what he had to help get Al his body back, even risked his military career to keep the boy's secret about the human transmutation of their dead mother. Edward would never admit this aloud, and die before he ever said it, but he sort of viewed Roy Mustang as a father. Not that he didn't have one, of course. Hohenheim was still trying to gain his trust, and even built Ed these fake skin-covered arm and leg. They were useful, but nowhere near as good as Winry's.

But as much as Hoenheim tried to make up for his absence, Ed wouldn't forgive him. Not after being gone for more than ten years. Helpful jerk that he was, Colonel Mustang was a better father to Ed than Hoenheim had ever been.

And again, Ed would rather die than admit it. Though maybe if he had a chance to see the bastard one more time, Ed might tell him...

Ed was so deep in his thoughts, he almost missed it when he walked right past a telephone box.

Now, there was nothing special about this big, blue box. But it tugged on his mind, demanding he look back at it. So Ed turned back, walking to stand in front of the tall phone box. At the top, glowing words read "Police Public Call Box", and a sign on the door telling the user what it was for and how to use it. Ed snorted. He almost wanted to push the door open just to spite whoever was telling him to pull to open.

It took him a moment of thinking, but Ed remembered where he'd seen the box before. There had been a few littered throughout London whilst Ed had been living there. A moment of thinking more, and Ed realized he'd never seen one in Berlin. And why would he? These police boxes were distinctly English. Ed hadn't seen others like it in America, or any other countries, for that matter. So what was a British police call box doing in the middle of Berlin?

Ed shook his head, looking away from the box. Focusing on it was giving him a major headache. He squeezed his eyes shut, then looked again. It seemed kinda blurry, like his eyes were making it go out of focus. Some part of him thought there was something about the box, making him want to look away. Ed wondered why. His hand crept out of his pocket into the chilly winter air. It landed on the cold wood, tracing the frame. Ed close his hand around the icy metal of the handle. He was about to pull the door open when he heard shouting.

Ed was amazed he hadn't heard it before. He took his hand away from the strange police box, turning in the direction of the shouting. He located it, had a quick discussion with himself, then decided to find out what was going on. Edward Elric had never been one to resist a little excitement, after all.

Ed raced down the sidewalk, skidding on the ice when he turned to start toward the empty warehouse. What was it about shady happenings and empty warehouses, Ed wondered vaguely. His adrenaline had already started pumping, and he was excited to find out what was going on. Nothing like this seemed to happen in this world, at least not when Ed was around. No, this seemed more common in Amestris.

Edward ran up the steps, slowing when he reached the door. He opened it carefully, trying to stay quiet, and winced when the hinges squealed loudly. He entered, holding the door until is clicked shut behind him. More than anything right now, Ed wished he had his alchemy. Sure, he could fight well enough. But what if this had something to do with Envy? Envy was in this world somewhere, in God knew what form. He was dangerous. Ed would not be able to fight Envy on his own, definitely not without alchemy. But still, Ed creeped forward. The yelling had ceased for the most part, but Ed could still hear lots of running about on the floor above.

A little more confidently, Edward walked toward the stairwell. He was half-way up when the yelling started up again. Ed started, then raced up the remaining steps, wondering if whoever was speaking might need his help.

Ed was close enough this time that he could distinguish between the voices. One was female, the other male. Both accents were English, and once again, Ed wondered what the English were doing in Berlin. Maybe they had something to do with the box outside? Ed came out of the stairwell, and he was close enough to the girl's voice, it was if she'd shouted in his ear.

"DOCTOR? WHAT COLOR?!"

Ed was a little confused, needless to say. And who was this Doctor?

The man's voice answered, though it was muffled. To Ed it sounded like he'd said "BLUE!" Ed heard quick footsteps and followed them. They led out into a large, open-concept room. In the corner was an obnoxiously tall man with short buzzed hair, big ears, a dark red v-neck, and a battered brown leather jacket. He was backing away from a monstrous creature that looked suspiciously like a man-pig.

The girl Ed heard earlier rushed up behind the man-pig, holding a large bucket. The man held out his hand, a look of horror on his face. Too late. The contents of the bucket the girl was holding was splashed all over the monster. It screamed in rage, and the girl dropped the bucket.

"What did you splash it with?" The man sputtered.

"You said blue!" She answered, dashing around the man-pig to grab the man's hand. They ran away from it as the man yelled "I said not blue!"

Not blue, huh? Ed rushed back to where the girl had gotten whatever was in the bucket. There. There was three different buckets filled with something that smelled seriously nasty. The man only said not blue, right? Would any color do? Ed hoped so. He grabbed the bucket with the green in it and raced back to the central room, careful not to slosh the stuff down himself. If it smelled nasty, Leto knew what it could do to the unsuspecting alchemist.

For a moment, Ed was worried he wouldn't be able to find the two Brits again, but was kind of relieved when they started shouting at one another again. He followed the shouting.

Once again, the creature had cornered the man, except this time the blonde girl was next to him. Ed came up quietly behind the man-pig, ignoring the widened eyes of the strangers. The creature stepped forward and the man edged in front of the girl.

"Hey, Porky!" The creature turned when Ed called, and Ed splashed the foul-smelling contents all over it. It screamed again, but not in anger this time. More like pain. It collapsed onto the floor, soon ceasing to make any kind of sound whatsoever.

Ed smirked at them. "Not blue, right?" He asked wryly, tossing the bucket to the floor beside him.

The man blinked, then grinned widely at him. "Yeah! How'd you know to get green , though?" Ed shrugged. "I didn't. I didn't hear you say green either. I just grabbed a bucket."

The girl laughed. "Well, anyway! Thanks, for, you know, saving our lives!" She all but bounced forward, holding out her hand. "I'm Rose Tyler, and this is the Doctor!"

Ed reached forward to shake her hand. "Ed Elric. The Doctor, huh? Sounds all kinds of heavy and intimidating." The corner of the Doctor's mouth twitched up. "Yeah, I suppose it does. Thanks for your help, Ed Elric. Rose and I should get going."

Edward frowned, following the Doctor and Rose back down the stairs. "Can you at least explain to me what just happened? I really don't appreciate just being left in the dark, you know." Both turned to look at him, the blonde giving the Doctor an amused smile. The Doctor glanced at her, then rolled his eyes. "That was an alien from the planet Thanagar. He came to kill humans, we came to stop him. You killed him. Congratulations."

Ed narrowed his eyes. He didn't appreciate sarcasm unless it was coming from him. "An alien? Why would he kill humans?" The Doctor had already turned, walking back outside into the frigid air, Rose following hesitantly. The Doctor shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe you humans just make good sport?" He wiggled his eyebrows, letting Ed know he was joking. But something else stuck out in Ed's mind. "You said _you_ make good sport. Not we. Aren't you human too?"

The Doctor and Rose froze, glancing at each other. Ed wondered how many people hadn't caught that sort of joke in the past. The Doctor looked back at Ed, and he could see the respect in the older man's eyes.

"No. I'm not." The Doctor took Rose's hand and led her away.

Ed stood still a moment. Before they turned the corner, Rose Tyler caught his eyes and smiled at him. Ed's eyes widened, and he looked down, hoping his fringe was enough to cover his bright red face. Rose laughed, and the sound was quickly followed by the sound of shutting wooden doors. Confused, Ed walked to the edge of the road. On a whim, he looked to the right, back down the street at at the police box. He watched in shock as it began to make a loud whirring noise, then fade in and out of sight.

Finally, the box disappeared. Ed wondered exactly what the hell had just happened. He stared in even more shock at the place where the huge blue box had stood a moment before.

Ed shook his head again, then started the long walk back to Alfons's house, wondering if he'd ever see those two strange people again.

* * *

The Doctor had the TARDIS ready to leave when Rose walked in a moment after he did. "Do you think he'll be alright, Doctor?"

The Doctor looked at her in confusion. "Why wouldn't he be? After we leave, he probably won't have to deal with any more rogue aliens."

Rose shrugged. "I don't know. There's just something about him. He seems kinda sad." She paused, and the reason why Ed's sadness seemed to so familiar to her came to the top of her mind. "Like you. Sometimes you're sad because you can't get back home, to Gallifrey. I think he's sad because he can't get back home either."

The Doctor was silent, and Rose wondered if it was because she'd mentioned his home planet. Or was it something else?

"Doctor?" She asked tentatively. "Are you okay?"

He looked up and smiled at Rose. "I'm okay, Rose. You're right. He can't get home."

Rose frowned. "You know who he is and why?"

The Doctor laughed softly, then pulled up the file he had on Edward Elric on the screen on the TARDIS console. "Edward Elric, also known in his world as the Fullmetal Alchemist."

"Okay..." Rose was still waiting for more information. Like, perhaps, why he had so much information on Ed and yet acted like he hadn't known the boy.

"Joined his military at twelve years old as a State Alchemist."

"And...what? I bet he had a good reason for doing so."

The Doctor nodded. "He did. When he and his brother were younger, ten and eleven years old, they performed an alchemic transmutation on their dead mother."

Rose shook her head, confused. "What does that mean, Doctor?"

He looked at her sadly. "It means they tried to bring her back to life."

Rose gasped. "Did it work?"

The Doctor shook his head. "No. Humans aren't meant to be brought back from the dead. We learned that with Jack, didn't we? No, Ed and his younger brother Al, failed. The transmutation took Al's body and Ed's leg. Even with his leg gone, Ed was able to think clearly. He drew a blood seal on a suit of armor that stood near by and bonded his brother's soul to the armor. The cost for that was his arm."

"Ed obtained a kind of prosthetic called automail from a close friend, then preceded to join the military. He and his brother roamed all over the country, looking for a way to get their bodies back."

Rose waited. "And did they? Get their bodies back, I mean."

"Alphonse did. But the cost for Al's body was high. He's still back in their home country, Amestris. Edward had to come here. He's been living here for the past year."

Rose was silent for a moment. "Can't we take him back? Can't we help him get back to his brother?"

The Doctor smiled sadly. "I wish we could. Ed deserves it, after all that he's been through. But we can't. Ed still has a part to play in this world, and if we took him away from it, who knows what could happen. It certainly wouldn't be good."

"Why do you have a whole file on him?"

He hesitated. "I ran into an older version of him a while back. He told me all that happened, in his life and how we met. I don't know why meeting that younger him today surprised me, but it did."

Rose walked forward, sliding an arm through his. "Can't we at least show Ed a little bit of the universe? Then we can bring him back here, at the same time, as if he'd never left."

The Doctor was trying very hard not to look Rose in the eyes, because then he would have no choice but to say yes. His will bent, and the Doctor heaved a sigh. "Fine! ONE trip, and then he's coming back!"

Rose laughed and kissed him on the cheek, then grabbed hold of the nearest weird sculpture thing and held on, knowing the ride was about to get bumpy.

* * *

Ed was walking down the street of Berlin, once again very deep in thought. But he didn't miss it this time. This time he was ready for it.

The loud whirring of the strange blue box once again sounded throughout the neighborhood. Edward's head whipped up, gaze searching hungrily for the blue police box. It appeared, just a street away from him. It sat calmly on the edge of the curb, as if it had been there since the beginning of time.

Ed stared at in shock for a moment, then ran. He ran as his admittedly shorter legs were capable of going. Fifteen feet away, he stopped. Stopped and stared at the dark, royal blue of this strange disappearing box. For some reason, Edward wasn't surprised when the door squeaked open- to the inside, he noticed- and Rose Tyler leaned out. First she looked to the left, then right. When she saw him, her eyes lit up. She held out her hand. "Come with us" she seemed to be saying, though her mouth didn't open.

Ed grinned and ran the last of the distance. He took Rose's hand, and she pulled him inside.

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 **A/N: Short story is short. Keep in mind, I wrote this while half-asleep at 2 am.**

 **Let me know what you guys thought of this in the reviews! I'm thinking of maybe writing another chapter, so if you have any ideas on what Ed is going to see with Rose and the Doctor, either PM me or leave it in the reviews!**

 **Also...Do we want EdxRose (because irony) or DoctorxRose? Or both? Because we all know that will make for great sport and drama.**

 **I hope you enjoyed the story. Have a nice day!**

 **BYE ;3**


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